yelodood: throwing a party on friday, should be some hoes there
yelodood: you should come
yelodood: this hot chick that play world of warcraft is verified to be coming

there you go folks, the hottest jam of the year.

The Center of Time

This is one story, my favorite, from a book of short stories by Alan Lightman called "Einstein's Dreams". In it, he imagines different 'worlds' that probe at established concepts of physics; relativity, space, and time, and weaves it in a way that teaches us a lesson or two about our behavior as humans. Chances are, if you're close to me, i've probably already lent you my copy. Or brought you to the bookstore, at gunpoint, forcing you to buy and read it. To everyone else, enjoy, get ready to have the doors in your mind blown open.

the center of time

There is a place where time stands still. Raindrops hang motionless in air. Pendulums of clocks float mid-swing. Dogs raise their muzzles in silent howls. Pedestrians are frozen on the dusty streets, their legs cocked as if held by strings. The aromas of dates, mangoes, coriander, and cumin are suspended in space.

As a traveler approaches this place from any direction, he moves more and more slowly. His heartbeats grow farther apart, his breathing slackens, his temperature drops, his thoughts diminish, until he reaches dead center and stops. For this is the center of time. From this place, time travels outward in concentric circles – at rest at the center, slowly picking up speed at greater diameters.

Who would make pilgrimage to the center of time? Parents with children, and lovers.

And so, at the place where time stands still, one sees parents clutching their children, in a frozen embrace that will never let go. The beautiful young daughter with blue eyes and blonde hair will never stop smiling the smile she smiles now, will never lose this soft pink glow on her cheeks, will never grow wrinkled or tired, will never get injured, will never unlearn what her parents have taught her, will never think thoughts that her parents don’t know, will never know evil, will never tell her parents that she does not love them, will never leave her bedroom with the view of the ocean, will never stop touching her parents as she does now.

And at the place where time stands still, one sees lovers kissing in the shadows of buildings, in a frozen embrace that will never let go. The loved one will never take his arms from where they are now, will never give back the bracelet of memories, will never journey far from his lover, will never place himself in danger in self-sacrifice, will never fail to show his love, will never become jealous, will never fall in love with someone else, will never lose the passion of this instant in time.

One must consider that these statues are illuminated by only the most feeble red light, for light is diminished almost to nothing at the center of time, its vibrations slowed to echoes in vast canyons, its intensity reduced to the faint glow of fireflies.

Those not quite at dead center do indeed move, but at the pace of glaciers. A brush of the hair might take a year, a kiss might take a thousand. While a smile is returned, seasons pass in the outside world. While a child is hugged, bridges rise. While a goodbye is said, cities crumble and are forgotten.

And those who return to the outer world … Children grow rapidly, forget the centuries-long embrace from their parents, which to them lasted but seconds. Children become adults, live far from their parents, live in their own houses, learn ways of their own, suffer pain, grow old. Children curse their parents for trying to hold them forever, curse time for their own wrinkled skin and hoarse voices.

Lovers who return find their friends are long gone. After all, lifetimes have passed. They move in a world they do not recognize. Lovers who return still embrace in the shadows of buildings, but now their embraces seem empty and alone. Soon they forget the centuries-long promises, which to them lasted only seconds. They become jealous even among strangers, say hateful things to each other, lose passion, drift apart, grow old and alone in a world they do not know.

Some say it is best not to go near the center of time. Life is a vessel of sadness, but it is noble to live life, and without time there is no life. Others disagree. They would rather have an eternity of contentment, even if that eternity were fixed and frozen, like a butterfly mounted in a case.

Love in a Free-Market Economy

I'm a firm believer that love obeys free market principles. Two people are there because they want to be there. If there's something better out there, then they should be able to consider it. Competition makes industry thrive. Protectionism will stifle growth and lead to a handicapped relationship. If something isn't good, you can't make them stay. I've come to believe that economic principles can be used as a tool of reasoning to help derive some sense from my experiences in relationships. We've got the law of marginal utility . .  the law of diminishing returns . . if you're lucky enough, you might find love beneath the bell-curve.

Certainly, free-market love from a distance seems great. With everyone searching for happiness, GDP as a whole goes up. However, you have strong economies in the world like the U.S. but you also have weaker ones. With a free-market system where one party is only looking out for themselves, dealings between them will be skewed; the more developed one will grow richer while the less developed will grow poorer.

There needs to be a plan for the poor; you just can't have an unplanned anything goes relationship and expect it to be a strong one. There has to be continual dialogue, continual cooperation, and a policy of interdependence between two strong and independent parties. If the balance is thrown off-kilter; one person depends on the other too much, and/or there isn't any patience or sincere concern for progress, then the relationship can run the risk of being unsustainable. 

In the case with West and East Germany,West had the Easts' interest in mind so they didn't exploit the inequities, instead they fostered growth and the two became strong together. Maybe the East brought the West down a little in the beginning, but as well as economic prosperity, unification and harmonious coexistence was also an important priority. If everyone's economy is to thrive, the focus should be on the slow, long-term sustainability of growth for everyone, not necessarily strong initial growth (or initial happiness in this case).

Pegging GDP to true progress is great; we'll just totally exploit all we can out of an opportunity, and when it's thoroughly exhausted, we'll just move on to the next opportunity. We'll just keep moving on and on and since new opportunities are never-ending, we'll just date until we know we're too old to get anyone better than we have right now. Or, I know this might sound silly, but how about we just stay where we are; how about we actually work on our relationship. See where that leads us. Being faithful and true is real progress, if you stop treating love like a business then there won't be any bottom line to worry about.  

It's my favorite time of year again . . I caught the sun lookin' at me in a way I haven't seen in months -- 
i swear, the autumn shine feels like it was perfectly aligned to spotlight the nostalgic times . .

Props to Persephone and the first three pomegranate seeds . .

. . and a shoutout to syspiphus.

                                                . . .

Quantifying sentiment

Sometimes you'll have a certain set of songs on repeat in the background during a tumultuous period or phase in your life . . whether you've attached the music to the experiences, or vice versa, they can become inextricably linked without you even realizing it . . after you've finally moved on, looking back, you'll get a subconscious feeling of nostalgia even if you hadn't made a point to remember what songs you were listening to at the time . . as soon as it comes on, something clicks inside of your head, tingles in your shoulders, and glimmers in your heart . . suddenly it takes you back; it feels as though you're walking alone down an empty midnight street that you've walked plenty of times before, each time prior busy and bustling . . now, it's the same scene, except this time there's quiet . .

there's a few of these songs that come to mind . . i'll usually run through my music inventory, come across them, and put em on cd just for the nostalgic effect . . lately i've been trying not to, i've been trying to conserve the feeling; when you listen to these songs too often, they'll start to lose their value . .  you're simultaneously making them the soundtrack for another period or phase in your life, so its currency will become weaker . . on the same token, however, let's say you're still stuck in this rut and you just can't get out . . you can reappropriate a song's nostalgic effect by putting them to 'good times' . . now all you need are some good times . . it won't change the song's current value, but it'll eventually change a song's value in an undeterminable amount of time in the future . .

           xs = 1/ysT + T

x = depth of pain
y = goodness/time
T = time
s = song

move over einstein, i'm startin a whole new science here . .